August 24, 2018 Brethren Letter
Over eight years ago I gave several Bible Studies on the subject of “marriage.” All of us should take our roles and responsibilities as husbands and wives seriously! GOD CERTAINLY DOES! Hopefully, not one person thinks he or she is “…simply too set in their ways to change,” or, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Godly marriages don’t just “HAPPEN.” They take effort!
Once again, we must realize that our physical marriages point to something far greater than a human relationship. Our physical marriages are a “type” of our future marriage to Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:30-32 “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church”).
Husbands must lead their families rightly and love their wives deeply, as we see in the example of Christ’s love toward the Church. (Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”). Wives also have responsibilities which God has given them. I will write about them later.
Tonight, I will send out a copy of a paper I received many years ago in the WCG, showing various ways we as husbands can express love toward our mates. There are several good points in this list for our men to meditate on and practice. Obviously, this is not intended to be a full, comprehensive list. Rather, it is a GUIDE to better express love toward our wives, our “help-meets,” our brides, and our BEST friends!
Hopefully, you will find the list helpful, just as I have over the years. If you’re currently married, I hope each of you as couples will discuss these points together to broaden your thoughts even further on the subject.
Have a wonderful Sabbath!
Your Brother in Christ,
EIGHTY-ONE WAYS TO SHOW LOVE FOR YOUR WIFE
1. Communicate with her – NEVER close her out.
2. Regard her as important!
3. Do everything you can to understand her feelings.
4. Show interest in her interests.
5. Ask her opinion frequently.
6. Value what she says.
7. Let her feel your approval and affection.
8. Protect her on a daily basis.
9. Be gentle and tender with her.
10. Develop a sense of humor.
11. Discuss major changes – seek her input.
12. Comfort her when she’s down emotionally. For instance, put your arms around her and silently hold her for a few seconds without lectures or put downs.
13. Be interested in what she feels is important in life.
14. Treat her gently and tenderly.
15. Be willing to let her to teach YOU something without putting up your defenses.
16. Be willing to teach her about something YOU enjoy doing (hunting, fishing, etc.), if she would like.
17. Be trustworthy.
18. Compliment her often.
19. Share your thoughts and feelings with her.
20. Be creative when you express your love, in both words and actions.
21. Have specific family goals each year.
22. Let her buy things she considers necessary.
23. Be forgiving of her if she ever offends you.
24. Show her by your actions that you need her.
25. Accept her the way she is: discover that her uniqueness is why you married her.
26. Admit your mistakes and be humble about it.
27. Lead you family in their spiritual relationship with God.
28. Rub her feet after a hard day.
29. Take time for the two of you to just sit and talk.
30. Go on romantic outings.
31. Write her a letter (or e-mail) occasionally, telling her how much you love her.
32. Surprise her with a card or flowers.
33. Express verbally how much you appreciate her, and why.
34. Tell her how proud of her you are.
35. Defend her to others.
36. Prefer her company over all others.
37. Do not expect her to work beyond her physical capabilities.
38. Always pray for her each day.
39. Pray together with her at times.
40. Take time to notice what she has done for you and your family.
41. Brag about her to other people behind her back.
42. Talk to her about your job, if she is interested.
43. Take time to see how she spends her day, at work or at home.
44. Learn to enjoy doing what she enjoys doing.
45. Take care of your children before dinner.
46. Help straighten up the house.
47. Let her take a bubble bath while YOU do the dishes.
48. Understand her physical limitations.
49. Discipline your children in love, not anger.
50. Help her to finish her goals, hobbies, or education.
51. Treat her as if God had stamped on her forehead, “Handle with care.”
52. Get rid of habits that annoy her.
53. Be gentle and thoughtful to her relatives.
54. Do not compare her relatives to yours in a negative way.
55. Thank her for things she has done without expecting anything in return.
56. Do not expect a band to play whenever you help with the house-cleaning.
57. Treat her as an intellectual equal.
58. Discover her fears in life.
59. See what you can do to eliminate her fears.
60. Plan your future together.
61. Practice common courtesies, like holding the door for her, pouring the coffee, etc.
62. Take her on dates once in awhile.
63. Hold her hand in public.
64. Put your arm around her in front of friends.
65. Tell her you love her – often.
66. Remember anniversaries and other special occasions.
67. Learn to enjoy shopping with her from time to time.
68. Give her a special gift “…just because.” – Remember, she is your best friend!
69. Share the responsibilities around the house.
70. Do not belittle her feminine characteristics.
71. Let her express herself freely, without fear or being called stupid or illogical.
72. Carefully choose your words, especially if you are angry.
73. Fix dinner for her from time to time.
74. Be sympathetic and understanding when she is sick.
75. Call her when you are going to be late.
76. Do not disagree with her in front of the children.
77. Take her out for dinner and/or weekend getaways.
78. Do the “little things” she needs done from time to time.
79. Give her special time to be alone with her friends.
80. Give her an engraved plaque assuring her of your lasting love.
81. Write her a poem about how special she is.